When I was pregnant with William, I was asked if I would be breastfeeding. At the time I said I would give it a go and if it doesn't work out I'd provide bubs with formula. As soon as he was born, something clicked in me and it felt so important to breastfeed. Midwives and nurses all told me I was doing well however William wasn't putting on weight. I tried nipple shields, I spoke to a lactation consultants (who are amazing and can be a really great help) but after four months of struggle, William was really sick and I was tired. James and I discussed changing him to formula and within a week we saw an amazing change in his behaviour and he began to put on weight. I however took a lot more time to accept that I wouldn't be providing the main source of food for William. Fast forward 18 months and along comes Lucas, I told myself and others I would try breastfeeding for the first week and if I'm successful great if not, no big deal I'll just use formula. Lucas was a week old, lost close to 10% of his birth weight and suffering from jaundice. I knew that the right thing to do was go straight to formula, but to deal with the heartache of not breastfeeding again was scary. I cried to James feeling like I had failed both my boys and that I was an inadequate mother all because I couldnt supply them with my milk. There is so much pressure on woman to successfully breastfeed. Whenever I go into G.P.s or hospitals I see posters advertising the 10 steps to successful breastfeeding, except those 10 steps don't always work and for numerous reasons, so long as your baby is putting on weight, has a sufficient amount of wet nappies and is healthy, what does it matter where the milk comes from. Plus it means dads can help out too.
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